35: Crowded House

Hellbent

Chapter 35

Crowded House

Lazaros was cooking that night. He was preparing lasagne. Ashley peered over his shoulder.

Ashley: “Do you need help, Laz?”

They offered.

Lazaros: “No, please don’t. I don’t like receiving help when cooking.”

He said tersely with a twinge of annoyance. Ashley was taken aback.

Ashley: “O-oh, okay… I was just hoping we could cook together.”

They pressed their fingers together. Lazaros turned to them.

Lazaros: “I don’t like to receive help when cooking.”

He said coolly. Ashley pursed their lips and nodded, taking a mental note.

Ashley: “Alright, Laz… I understand.”

Lazaros smiled a bit and turned around to resume preparing the sauce.

Lazaros: “You can make dessert.”

He offered. Ashley’s face lit up.

Ashley: “I’d be delighted!”

They beamed and gasped, eagerly rushing over to the fridge for the eggs, whipping cream, mascarpone cheese, coffee liqueur, cocoa powder, and biscuits to make a tiramisu.

Lazaros started to assemble the lasagne and turned on the oven to preheat it. Ashley assembled their tiramisu alongside him with the lasagne and smiled happily.

Ashley: “Tiramisu is like the dessert version of lasagne!”

They chuckled.

Lazaros: “Huh, yes, that is right, and I imagine they would pair together beautifully!”

He said genially. Ashley smiled up at him and blushed.

Ashley: “...L-Like us?”

They blurted softly. Lazaros beamed at their compliment.

Lazaros: “Yes, exactly!”

He chirped. Ashley was pleasantly surprised by his response and beamed.

Craig sauntered into the kitchen, freshly showered with a towel around his waist.

Craig: “What’s cookin’ cunts?”

He grinned, leaning against the doorframe.

Lazaros: “Work on your manners and how you enter a room, and I will tell you.”

He said firmly but gently. Ashley nodded in agreement with him. Craig’s eyebrows rose.

Craig: “Oh, sorry! Would ya cunts please tell me what’s cookin’? Thanks!”

He beamed. Ashley sighed and laughed.

Lazaros: “Drop the profane language, please.”

He said with a twinge of annoyance.

Ashley: “That’s a bad word, Craig!”

They scolded him gently but firmly.

Craig: “Oh! But I mean it as a good thing! It means ya my mates!”

He explained, waving his hands around.

Ashley: “Then why don't you just call us ‘friends’ instead of… that?”

They laughed awkwardly.

Lazaros: “Also, can you leave the kitchen? This isn’t a big space, and there simply isn’t enough room!”

He said with some annoyance. Craig knit his eyebrows.

Craig: “Oh, alright…”

He swung his gaze to his quiet, lonely bedroom… or Blake and Andreas through the archway watching TV. He didn’t know which was the worst option.

Ashley turned to him, noting his expression.

Ashley: “It’s a nice warm night, so we can eat together on the patio!”

They explained.

Lazaros: “I don’t think we’re going to be doing that.”

Ashley tilted their head.

Ashley: “Huh? Why not?”

They turned to Lazaros.

Lazaros: “Look, this isn’t a big kitchen, and I wanted to be alone when doing this. Sometimes I need space, and no one wants to give it to me!”

He snapped. Ashley drew back and knit their eyebrows. Craig shifted his eyes.

Ashley: “I-I’m sorry, Lazaros! D-Did I do something wrong?”

They embraced themself.

Lazaros: “I like to concentrate and be alone when cooking. I don’t want help, okay? And you don’t need to be around me all the time. I’m not going anywhere!”

He huffed. Ashley swallowed hard and nodded.

Ashley: “O-oh, okay.”

They smiled a bit when he said he wasn't going anywhere. Lazaros heaved a deep sigh.

Lazaros: “I’m sorry I snapped, but I feel you do hang on me a lot, and I feel… maybe you should make some friends outside of me. I won’t be angry or upset if you do.”

He said gently. Ashley bowed their head and nodded. Am I clingy? Maybe I do need new friends and better friends than Maxx and Yvette, they wondered and twisted their mouth when they thought of them.

Lazaros: “I don’t like receiving help in the kitchen or being bothered.”

He added. Ashley frowned. Bothered? Does he mean me or Craig? They wondered.

Lazaros: “I take this very seriously. And I feel you need a life and others outside of me.”

He said gently but firmly. Ashley embraced themself.

Ashley: “I’m sorry, Lazaros… I’ll leave you to cook if that’s what you want.”

They nodded. Lazaros nodded.

Lazaros: “Thank you, Ashley.”

He beamed and put the lasagne in the oven.

Craig: “Don’t worry, you can hang out with me!”

He grinned at Ashley, putting his arm around them and feeling relieved that he now had someone to talk to. Ashley smiled a bit.

Ashley: “How’s your bedroom going, Craig?”’

They asked him, wanting to shift the subject. Craig grinned widely.

Craig: “It’s wicked sick! Come see!” He beamed and resembled an excitable Labrador. Ashley was pleasantly surprised by his excitement.

Craig led Ashley to the small bedroom at the end of the hall. Ashley’s eyes widened when they saw that the neon pink walls were now painted neon green.

Ashley: “Wow, you really like neon green, huh?”

They laughed. Better than pink, they thought.

Craig: “Fuckin’ oath!”

He grinned.

Ashley: “What does that mean?”

They tilted their head and laughed a bit. Craig gaped at them.

Craig: “Seriously? You're from Koala State ‘n you don't know slang?! Every cunt speaks slang there!”

He asked. Ashley shook their head.

Ashley: “Craig. Language.”

They sighed.

Craig: “Sorry! Fuckin’ oath is just the Aussie way of sayin’ fuck yeah!”

He explained.

Ashley: “Oh? Then what's with the oats? Why are you… making love to oats?”

They laughed. Craig gaped at them and burst out laughing.

Craig: “OATH! Not oats! You funny cunt!”

He laughed.

Craig: “Oh, fuck sorry! You funny… chick?”

He tried to correct himself, but looked uncertain.

Ashley: “I'm not a chick either.”

They corrected him gently. Craig's eyebrows rose.

Craig: “Then what the fuck are ya?”

He asked, scrutinising them.

Ashley: “I'm neither. I'm non-binary!”

They explained.

Craig: “The fuck does that mean?”

He laughed.

Ashley: “I'm not a dude, right?”

They laughed, gesturing to themself.

Craig: “Fuck no!”

He shook his head.

Ashley: “But, I'm not a chick either, right?”

They challenged him. Craig paused.

Craig: “Not really.”

He laughed and shook his head.

Ashley: “There you go!”

They spread their arms out.

Craig: “Oh! So, you're a Non-Bino, huh?”

He stroked his chin.

Ashley: “Sure, Craig.”

They chuckled and smiled.

Ashley: “So, what's with the oath? What's that supposed to mean? What oath?”

They laughed. Craig paused.

Craig: “I dunno?”

He shrugged. Ashley laughed.

Ashley: “So you just say words you don't know the meaning of?”

They tilted their head.

Craig: “It's just slang, mate! Everyone says it!”

He waved his hand.

Ashley: “Why? Why say words you don't mean?”

They asked.

Craig: “I dunno. Why are you so hung up about this?”

He laughed and shrugged.

Ashley: “Because words are powerful, Craig…”

They sighed.

Ashley: “You should know that being the leader of a band! Your words influence your fans!”

A scoff interjected between them. They turned to see Andreas standing in the doorway.

Andreas: “No, he doesn't know that because he never was the leader, nor did he write the words.”

He interjected. Craig bowed his head. Ashley's eyebrows rose.

Ashley: “A-Andreas? It was you?”

They gasped. Andreas.

Andreas: “What makes you think that?”

He challenged them.

Ashley: “Well… Craig's words and Makayla’s words sound different from the words in the songs, and the way you said it makes it sound like you did!”

They stated. Andreas’ eyebrows rose.

Andreas: “It's good you're observant, Ashley.”

He folded his arms across his chest.

Andreas: “Surely you can observe Craig’s bullshit.”

He glared at Craig. Ashley sighed.

Ashley: “I'm sorry for upsetting you, Andreas…”

They said earnestly.

Andreas: “Why would I be upset?”

He asked.

Ashley: “Because… you're still hurt about Craig.”

They sighed. Andreas frowned.

Andreas: “No? That's history! It means nothing to me anymore!”

He huffed. Ashley tilted their head, observing him. They had never seen him like this before. They always perceived Andreas as flawlessly wise, but now they saw him as another human being.

Ashley: “That's not true…”

They sighed. Andreas gaped at them and twisted his mouth.

Andreas: “You're not the only observant one, Ashley. You know… I said the same thing Lazaros said to you many times before to Craig.”

He folded his arms across his chest. Craig bowed his head, and Ashley froze.

Andreas: “The more you pull someone to you, the more you push them away.”

He said firmly. Ashley’s heart sank.

Andreas: “Case in point.”

He gestured to Craig. Craig bowed his head. Ashley looked pensive.

Lazaros entered the living room and clasped his hands. Ashley brightened when they saw him.

Lazaros: “Okay, dinner is ready! I will not join you all as I have to work, but… I think I should work. I need some space from this crowded house. Enjoy your meals.”

He sighed. Ashley swallowed hard and nodded.

Ashley: “Oh, sure! Thank you, Lazaros.”

They smiled a bit and kissed his cheek goodbye.

Lazaros: “Thank you, Ashley. See you tonight.”

He said gently as he went outside to his car. Ashley watched him go and served up the dinner he had cooked for each of them.

~

Ashley, Craig, Blake, and Andreas sat in awkward silence at the table on the patio, eating dinner.

Blake: “Why is HE still here, Ashley?!”

He huffed, glaring at Craig across the table. Ashley sighed.

Craig: “Cause they need a friend ‘n I’m their mate!”

He grinned, chewing with his mouth open. Andreas rolled his eyes.

Ashley: “Don’t talk with your mouth full, Craig.”

They said gently.

Blake: “Right, Ashley is your friend like how I’m the Queen of England.”

He said dryly, taking a bite of lasagna.

Craig: “Pfft, you ain't the Queen of England, n you ain’t the Queen of this house either!”

He scoffed and laughed. Blake twisted his mouth.

Blake: “Who works and pays bills? ME.”

He stabbed his fork into the food. Ashley jolted.

Craig: “Yeah, well, I’ll pay bills and rent, too!”

Blake's eyebrows rose.

Blake: “Wow. We had to beg the clown to pay us rent and bills, but you offer?”

He gaped at him. Craig pouted.

Craig: “Look, I ain't a dodgy cunt! That clown screwed me over in rent, too! I ain't lookin’ to bum around here for nothin’! I'll pay bills, rent ‘n be the handyman!”

He said earnestly. Blake gaped at him

Blake: “Even if hell froze over and I allowed you to stay here, with what money?! You don’t have a job, Craig! And I'm the handyman around here!”

He huffed.

Ashley: “Donut worry, I will help him find a job!”

They chimed in, looking up at Craig. Craig’s eyebrows rose surprisingly. Blake gaped at Ashley.

Blake: “Why do you do this, Ashley?!”

He groaned and rubbed his temples. Andreas flicked his gaze to Blake.

Andreas: “Like it's a mystery?”

He gaped at Blake. Ashley bowed their head.

Craig: “Because they're a fuckin’ legend, duh!”

He beamed at Ashley. Ashley smiled a bit.

Andreas swung his gaze over to Ashley.

Andreas: “Maybe you should get a job, too, Ashley.”

He suggested. Ashley and Blake’s eyebrows rose surprisingly.

Blake: “Ashley is already pulling their weight around the house, cooking, cleaning, and gardening!”

He declared, taking a bite of their tiramisu. Ashley nodded and glanced down at the lasagna Lazaros had cooked tonight.

Andreas: “That’s the problem. They need to get out of the house. We can rotate chores more evenly now that there's more of us.”

He said gently but firmly. Blake pulled a face.

Ashley: “Oh, but I like cooking, cleaning, and gardening!”

They assured him with a smile.

Andreas: “Maybe you could work in a restaurant or at the florist?”

He suggested. Ashley pondered.

Ashley: “Oooh, that sounds fun!”

They smiled a bit. Blake gaped at them.

Blake: “Wait, I don’t know about this–”

Andreas blinked at Blake. Craig cut in.

Craig: “What about me?!”

He exclaimed. They all turned to him.

Blake: “What about you?!”

He glared at him.

Andreas: “How about a garbage man?”

He said dryly, taking another bite of lasagne. Blake laughed. Craig pouted.

Craig: “Ha. ha. Very funny!”

He huffed.

Andreas: “No, seriously. It’s a good-paying job, and you’re awake at dawn to surf anyway.”

He added. Craig pouted.

Craig: “How about a sexy man?”

He said loftily, flexing his biceps. Andreas rolled his eyes. Blake glared at Craig.

Andreas: “That’s not a job, Craig.”

He huffed, not looking at him.

Craig: “Ok, then how about a sexy construction worker?”

He grinned, flexing again. Andreas rolled his eyes and kept his eyes on his lasagna.

Andreas: “Good idea. You should go back to construction work. You need to rebuild a new life. Hell, maybe you can build your own house and live in it?”

He said, still not looking at him. Blake laughed and glared at Craig.

Ashley: “I want to rebuild, too…”

They chimed in. Andreas’ eyebrows rose. Craig turned to Ashley and laughed.

Craig: “Oh, fuck no, you wouldn’t last an hour on a construction site!”

He stated. Ashley laughed and waved their hands.

Ashley: “No, no! I don’t mean in that way, I mean… I want to pick up the pizzas and rebuild my life again after I got knocked down by Maxx, Yvette, and Makayla…”

They sighed.

Andreas: “You mean pick up the pieces, but yes.”

He gently corrected them.

Ashley: “I need a new direction in life! There’s a wide world out there, and I want to explore it! I want a job outside of the house!”

They beamed. Blake put his fork down and pulled a face. Andreas swung his gaze to Blake and frowned.

Andreas: “I think that will be good for you, Ashley.”

He smiled at them, giving Blake the side-eye.

~

That night, Andreas and Blake lay in the bed together.

Blake: “So, we're just going to let Craig stay in our house?!”

He pouted. Andreas frowned.

Andreas: “Why don’t you want Ashley getting a job?”

He pressed him. Blake paused.

Blake: “Huh? What's that got to do with this? I didn’t say that?”

Andreas: “You said it with your face and did just now between the lines!”

He folded his arms across his chest. Blake drew a breath.

Blake: “Do you really think Ashley can handle a job?”

He asked. Andreas’ eyebrow rose.

Andreas: “As a matter of fact, I do.”

He countered.

Andreas: “Why don’t you?”

He pressed him.

Blake: “I don’t know… Ashley doesn’t know how to function in the world…”

His voice trailed off. Andreas furrowed his eyebrows.

Andreas: “THIS is exactly why they don’t!”

He huffed, poking Blake in the chest.

Andreas: “This is a direct result of your shitty parenting! That's why Craig is in our house now! This is partly on you, too!”

He hissed.

Andreas: “THIS is why they need to do this!”

He added, throwing his arms up.

Andreas: “I'm mad at all of you!”

He pouted, rolling over with his back to him. Blake knit his eyebrows.

Blake: “I'm sorry, Andreas… you're right.”

He sighed, turning to him.

Blake: “He will be out of here tomorrow.”

He promised him. Andreas sighed.

Andreas: “Stop fighting Ashley’s battles!”

He snapped.

Blake: “It's NOT about Ashley, it's about YOU!”

He countered, placing his hand on his shoulder. Andreas paused and turned to him.

Blake: “I'm pissed off at Ashley, but I'm angrier at myself because this is my fault! I fucked Ashley up and this ended up hurting you, too!”

He cried. Andreas drew a breath and placed his hand on his.

Andreas: “You weren't equipped to be a parent in the first place! …But that isn't your fault.”

He frowned.

Andreas: “It's not your fault you were put in this position. You never should have been put in this position in the first place!”

He huffed.

Andreas: “It's your parents...”

He twisted his mouth. Blake paused.

Andreas: “Did they disappear or did they abandon you?”

He pondered and challenged. Blake's eyebrows rose.

Andreas: “Ashley clings to Lazaros like an abandoned kitten…”

He folded his arms across his chest.

Andreas: “And you shut people out, so how can you be abandoned?”

He added. Blake looked away.

Blake: “What difference does it make? When they were around… they weren't around anyway.”

He huffed bitterly and hugged his knees. Andreas wrapped his arms around him.

Andreas: “I'm sorry… I’m around for you, Blake.”

He offered, kissing his head. Blake pursed his lips and slowly wrapped his arms around him.

Blake: “Thank you…”

He whispered in his ear and kissed his forehead. Andreas gazed at him and saw the pain in his eyes and the tears he held back. Andreas took his hands.

Andreas: “I’m sorry, I was harsh. You’re not a shitty parent… you were doing the best you could with the cards you were dealt with and you didn’t ‘fuck up’ Ashley. I mean, look at how Maxx turned out! Ashley turned out to be a good person because of a good person.”

He said earnestly to Blake, tenderly stroking his cheek. Blake’s eyebrows rose surprisingly.

Blake: “...Really? You think I’m a good person?”

He asked. Am I a good person? He wondered. Andreas nodded in confirmation.

Andreas: “Yes, I do. I wouldn’t be with you if you weren’t a good person.”

He assured him and lay on his chest.

Blake: “But… I hurt you. And Ashley hurt you partly because of me…”

He asked in a small voice, feeling overcome with guilt. Andreas drew a breath.

Andreas: “That doesn’t make you a bad person. In some ways… you’re still stuck in the Sunshire mindset. Just because you hurt someone’s feelings, doesn’t automatically make you the spawn of satan.”

He assured him.

Andreas: “That you feel bad for hurting others shows that you are a good person. Good people can still hurt you and do wrong. Objectively, Ashley is doing the right thing helping a homeless man… but subjectively, that homeless man is someone who hurt me in the past, so it personally affects me…”

He sighed.

Andreas: “I was once like Ashley, too, that's how I ended up with Craig. I have my problems with Craig, but I want him to eat, just not at my table. I don’t know. Am I being selfish, making this about me, when it’s not about me?!”

He sighed. Blake wrapped his arms around him and held him close.

Blake: “You’re not selfish! Craig is selfish! He can eat at another table!”

He assured him, rubbing his shoulders. Andreas drew a breath and melted to his touch.

Andreas: “Thank you, Blake.”

He turned around and kissed him.

Andreas: “We should rest, we have work tomorrow.”

Blake kissed him back, and they fell asleep.

~

The next day, Ashley and Craig roamed the streets of Selene Valley together, looking for work. Ashley wore the black fur-trimmed coat, white paisley shirt, and bellbottom jeans that Lazaros got for them. Craig wore his classic ensemble of torn denim vest, jeans, and his Nuklear Intoxikation shirt.

Ashley: “Uhh, don’t you have any other clothes, Craig? We’re applying for jobs!”

They laughed and scratched their head.

Craig: “Nah, mate! I lost everythin’ remember?”

Ashley paused and nodded.

Ashley: “I’m sorry… I understand.”

They sighed, thinking of everything they lost, too.

Ashley: “Do you need more clothes?”

They asked.

Craig: “Pfft, nah! I’m good! This is all I need ‘n all I wear anyway!”

He gestured to himself. Ashley tilted their head.

Ashley: “What do you wear when you’re doing laundry then?”

They asked. Craig shrugged.

Craig: “I just wear my undies.”

He grinned.

Ashley: “Please don’t do that.”

They laughed awkwardly. Craig pouted.

Ashley darted their attention over to the new colourful café ahead. It was painted in bright candy colours with a sign that read ‘Dessert Ranch’

Ashley: “Ooh, let’s get a snack!”

They beamed.

Craig: “No way am I goin’ in that fruity place!”

He scoffed and laughed.

Ashley: “Why not?”

They tilted their head.

Craig: “Ain’t no way I’m gonna be seen in a place like that!”

He pouted, gesturing to himself. Ashley frowned at him.

Ashley: “Fine, you can wait outside and see me in a place like that!”

They laughed with a twinge of annoyance. Craig paused.

Craig: “Outside?! All by myself!?”

He shifted his eyes. Ashley quirked an eyebrow at him.

Craig: “Alright, alright!”

He relented and followed them inside.

~

Craig and Ashley entered the Café and were greeted by the sweet aroma of desserts and fresh coffee. It was decorated with a scenic ranch wallpaper. The workers were dressed as various animals with dessert themes. There was a short, chubby woman dressed in a long, flowing, caramel-coloured dress. She had olive tan skin with peach-tinged platinum blonde hair and indigo eyes. She wore long caracal ears perched on her head and wore cat-eye make-up with white eye shadow to add to the caracal look.

Caramel Caracal: “Hello! I’m Caramel Caracal! Welcome to Dessert Ranch!”

She chirped, showing them to their table. Ashley beamed.

Ashley: “Hehe, that’s so pawesome!”

The woman laughed at their pun. Craig groaned and winced, putting his sunglasses on.

Another waitress slithered up to them. She struggled to move around in her giant snake costume.

Madelyn: “Ashley?! You came to see me at work?!”

She beamed. Ashley’s eyebrows rose when they recognised her beyond the green paint on her face.

Ashley: “Oh? Hey Madelyn! Uhh, what dessert animal are you supposed to be?”

They chuckled.

Madelyn: “I’M PIZZA SNAKE!”

She hissed like a snake. Craig shuddered.

Craig: “FUCK THAT!”

He huffed. Ashley laughed awkwardly.

Ashley: “Ohh, uhh, pizza isn’t a dessert.”

They chuckled.

Madelyn: “So? It can be!”

She grinned.

Craig: “Why a snake?!”

He pouted.

Madelyn: “I dunno, ‘cause snakes are badass?”

She shrugged.

Craig: “NO, they’re not!”

He huffed.

Madelyn: “Oh yeah?! What dessert animal would you be, muscle guy?!”

She poked him.

Craig: “I wouldn’t be a dessert, I’d be beer doggo!”

He said doggedly.

Ashley: “...I wanna be Tiramisu cat…”

Their voice trailed off.

Ashley: “NO! Tira-meowsu!”

They beamed, rising from their seat in exclamation. The girls laughed.

A portly man dressed as a cow sat behind the counter. He fixed his gaze on Ashley with a wide grin. The man had brown hair with a white and pink streak resembling Neapolitan ice cream and wore red-framed glasses over his dark brown eyes.

Mr. Nice Cream: “Moo! Moo! I’m Mr. Nice Cream, the ice cream cow!”

He chirped and perked up. Ashley turned to him.

Craig: “Pfft, aren’t cows chicks?”

He scoffed and laughed. The man kept his smile intact and ignored him, keeping his gaze on Ashley.

Mr. Nice Cream: “So, pretty little lady, you wanna be a Tiramisu cat, do ya?”

He smiled widely at Ashley. Ashley’s eyebrows rose. Caramel Caracal frowned.

Ashley: “Y-Yes! Can I work here?! Can I? Can I?”

They beamed excitedly, jumping on the spot. Mr Nice Cream chuckled and licked his lips at them.

Mr. Nice Cream: “My word, aren’t you the sweetest thing?”

He beamed. Ashley redenned.

Mr. Nice Cream: “You’re exactly what I’m looking for. You’re hired.”

He smiled at Ashley.

Ashley: “Oh my stars! Really?! Thank you! Thank you!”

They beamed excitedly.

Mr. Nice Cream: “Not you, though.”

He said to Craig, turning his nose up at him.

Mr. Nice Cream: “...You’re not what I’m looking for.”

He groused at him. Craig scoffed.

Craig: “I didn’t wanna work here, cow cunt! I’m a construction worker!”

He huffed. Mr. Nice Cream glared icily at Craig. Ashley nudged Craig.

Ashley: “Craig! Language!”

They gently scolded him.

Ashley: “Sorry about my friend, Mr. Nice Cream!”

They awkwardly scratched their head. Mr. Nice Cream smiled at Ashley.

Mr. Nice Cream: “Don’t apologise for him, sweetheart.”

He beamed at Ashley.

Mr. Nice Cream: “Get your costume ready and come in on Monday!”

He patted Ashley’s back. Ashley beamed.