02: Burger Party

Chapter 2

Burger Party

Under the cover of night and the pale moonlight, Ashley approached the orange Kingswood station wagon. Their heart thundered in their chest as they climbed into the driver’s seat of the car. Their hands trembled as they slid the keys in the ignition. They turned the keys, revving up the engine with giddy laughter. They shifted the gear into drive and floored the accelerator, feeling their heart racing with a wild rush of adrenaline.

Ashley: “Hahah aha hah YES!”

They sped down the long driveway and onto the highway. They flicked on their turn signal, pulling up by Maxx on the side of the road. They wound down their window and stuck their head out of the car.

Ashley: “Hey, do you need a ride?”

They pressed him. Maxx turned to them with a grin.

Maxx: “Owww, don’t mind if I do, baby!”

He purred, throwing his belongings in the back seat of the car.

Ashley: “So, where do your bandmates live?”

They asked him. Maxx froze and turned to them.

Maxx: “Wha? Why do you wanna know dat?!”

He scoffed and shifted in his seat.

Ashley: “Well… you can’t stay with me and you have nowhere to go, and they’re your bandmates! Maybe I can mediate and help you guys make peace!”

They exclaimed. Maxx gaped at them.

Maxx: “NAH-AH! Dat ain’t gonna happen!”

He shrieked in protest.

Ashley: “Look, man, my brother and I argue all the time, but he’d never let me sleep on the streets! I’m sure whatever it is, you can resolve it! They’re your bandmates and there can’t be a ‘Sex Bees’ without you!”

They offered gently. Maxx’s face flared red.

Maxx: “SEX BEEST! T! T!”

He shrieked and stamped his feet.

Ashley: “...Sorry, haha.”

They laughed awkwardly.

Ashley: “What happened with you and your band anyway?”

They pressed him. Maxx pouted his lips and blew some air.

Maxx: “HMPH! They robbed me and kicked me out!”

He huffed. Ashley turned to him, wide-jawed.

Ashley: “Why would they do that?!”

Their eyes widened with a gasp.

Maxx: “Cos, they’re jealous assholes!”

He bitterly folded his bony arms across his chest. Ashley turned to look at him.

Ashley: “...Jealous of what?”

They asked, genuinely curious.

Maxx: “Cos I get all da hot chicks!”

He grinned widely and winked at them. Ashley gave him an incredulous look. Maybe Blake was right, I don’t understand the world, they thought.

Ashley: “What did they steal from you?”

They pressed him.

Maxx: “Something VERY, VERY, VERY important to me!”

He exclaimed with a burning passion they hadn’t seen him express before.

Ashley: “It must be VERY important then.”

They replied.

Ashley: “Well, how about we get it back?”

They offered with a smile. Maxx turned to them, and a crooked grin spread across his gaunt cheeks.

Maxx: “Ohohoho, hot damn! You’re da best, baby!”

He grinned at them. Ashley laughed awkwardly.

~

Maxx directed Ashley down the main street along the beach. It was an eclectic blend of dumpy weatherboard houses and Victorian mansions on the opposite side of the road. Ashley followed the loud, thumping music like a breadcrumb trail, leading them to the source of the noise—a white, weatherboard house with a terracotta roof. The jumping silhouettes of the mosh pit could be seen through the bay windows, with loud cheering over the music.

Maxx: “Ohhhh, nah-ah! You can’t have a party without Maxxy!”

He pouted, pressing his face up against the window, leaving a fake tan mark.

Ashley: “Wow! You have LOTS of bandmates!”

They chuckled and observed all the people. Maxx turned to gape at them.

Maxx: “Pfft, wha?! They’re not all my bandmates!”

He laughed and scrambled out of the car.

Ashley: “Oh! Well, who are your bandmates?”

They pressed him, treading carefully through the minefield of empty beer cans and pizza boxes scattered across the lawn.

Maxx: “You’ll see!”

He waved his hand and barged into the door. Ashley glanced down at their sandals and slipped them off before entering the house.

Ashley followed Maxx inside, where they entered the living room. The house was packed with people dressed in black and denim, and they were hit with loud, aggressive music. Ashley recoiled to the lyrics, yelling in their face about dead bodies in a vat of acid.

Ashley: “Oh dear! How dreadful!”

They gasped and covered their ears. Ashley could feel disapproving looks surrounding them. They felt out of place in their vibrant bohemian clothes. But then they turned to Maxx, who stood out like a sore thumb with his bright, clashing neon colors, and they didn’t feel so out of place anymore.

Ashley: “Oh, oh, s-sorry! Mi scusi! Pardon me! Mi dispiace!”

They awkwardly stammered as they made their way through the crowd, sandwiched between the sea of moshing thrashers and the haze of smoke.

Ashley: “Maxx?”

They looked around for him in the crowd, but he was nowhere in sight. How do you lose a ball of neon in a crowd? They thought to themself. Their eyes lit up when they spotted Maxx standing across the room.

Ashley: “Maxx! There you are!”

They smiled as they approached him, reaching out to his arm. They gasped when Maxx suddenly fell back as if he were a flat object, and they realised it was just a cardboard cut-out of Maxx.

Ashley: “What the?”

They laughed awkwardly, trying to make sense of it.

“Hey! Get away from that!”

A woman’s voice interjected from behind them.

Ashley: “Oh! S-Sorry! I was just looking for my friend!”

They waved their hands and turned on their heel to face her. Her harsh features softened when she caught a glimpse of Ashley. Her green eyes peered at them through thick, wavy locs of purple hair and dark eyeshadow. She had a dark tan complexion with freckles adorning her chubby cheeks. She was dressed in a black tank top and jeans that clung tightly to her plump figure, leaving little to the imagination.

Purple-haired Woman: “Well, well, look what the cat dragged in.”

She smirked at Ashley, cross-examining them and tugging at their faux fur coat with her chipped nail-polished fingertips.

Ashley: “Uhh, cat?”

They chuckled and tilted their head.

Ashley: “Where?”!

They beamed, looking around for a cat. The woman smiled tightly at them and chuckled.

Purple-haired Woman: “You’re so cute. I mean you, silly!”

She cooed at them, poking their tummy. Ashley jolted and shivered.

Ashley: “HAHAHAHahaheeheh!”

They flopped down onto the floor like a puddle of goo. The woman stood over them and laughed.

Purple-haired woman: “Aww, ticklish are we?”

She teased them. Ashley shifted their eyes and laughed.

Ashley: “Very!”

They confessed proudly.

Purple-haired woman: “I’m Makayla Medeiros.”

She held her hand out to them. Ashley smiled up at her.

Ashley: “I’m Ashley Solegatti!”

They chirped, taking her hand and staggering to their feet. Makayla’s expression shifted when she saw the sun tattoo on their thumb.

Makayla: “Ooooh, I love your tattoo!”

She smiled at them, getting a closer look at it and gliding her fingertips across it. Ashley froze and redenned.

Ashley: “O-oh, t-thank you! It’s my Sunshire tattoo!”

They beamed.

Makayla: “Is that so?”

She locked her gaze on them with intrigue. Ashley tilted their head and smiled.

Suddenly, a gruff and booming voice interjected over a speaker from outside.

Man: “IT’S SHOWTIME CUNTS!”

He spoke with a thick, Australian accent, igniting a spark of excitement through the crowd like a stick of dynamite. Ashley pulled a face.

Ashley: “Oh my! How rude!”

They cupped their mouth. Makayla chuckled.

Makayla: “That’s my cue! Let’s go!”

She exclaimed, taking their hand. Ashley reddened.

Ashley: “W-woah! Wait! I need to find my friend!”

They gasped as they were suddenly dragged through the party and out into the backyard.

~

The party poured into the backyard, buzzing with excited cheering. A classic Hill's Hoist clothesline sat at the center of the lawn, like most Australian backyards. Sacks from boxed wine known as "goon sacks" were pegged on the clothesline with several people drinking and yelling obnoxiously. There was a bonfire pit in the yard, surrounded by people sitting around it, drinking and laughing among themselves.

Ashley’s eyes widened at the wooden stage set up with neon green lights and large speakers towering over them. Planks of wood were uneven and attached at random angles. Nails and bolts poked out, creating a hazardous mess.

Ashley: “Oh dear, Blake would be so mad about that craftsmanship!”

They chuckled to themself. Makayla climbed up onto the stage, picking up a red bass guitar and smiling at Ashley. Ashley’s eyebrows rose surprisingly.

Ashley: “W-wait, you’re in Sex Beest?!”

They beamed at her. A mighty roar cut in as the man with the microphone stomped over to Ashley in his big tradesman boots.

Man: “SEX BEEST?!”

He rasped, and his lantern jaw twisted with disgust. Ashley recoiled to his loud, booming voice bouncing off the distortion. They glanced up to see a tall man with a tan complexion and green eyes like Makayla’s. He resembled a lion with his wild mane of long blond curls and mighty roar. He wore torn jeans and was dressed in a frayed denim vest, which showed off his tattoo and muscular biceps. The tattoo was of a skull with a nuclear symbol on it.

Man: “We ain’t fuckin’ Sex Beest, we’re NUKLEAR INTOXIKATION!”

He announced into the microphone, working up the energy of the crowd. Ashley tilted their head in confusion.

Ashley: “O-Oh! My apologies! I thought you were Maxx’s band!”

They waved their hands around. Makayla gaped at Ashley.

Makayla: “Maxx?!?”

The man’s face flared red with fury.

Man: “WHAT?!”

He snapped and glared at them.

Man: “HOW DARE YOU! You shoeless fatty! I’ll kick ya ass!”

He thundered, marching up to them. Ashley recoiled and shut their eyes, huddling into their father’s coat.

Makayla: “CRAIG!”

She cried out to him. Suddenly, Craig was yanked back by someone. He turned around and saw a pale man with long raven hair and a white streak. He was dressed in a black denim jacket over his purple shirt and black jeans. His ice blue eyes gave Craig a disapproving look.

Man: “Oi! Let go of me, Andreas! He insulted us!”

He protested. Andreas shook his head and drew an exasperated breath.

Andreas: “If you throw stones at every dog who barks, you will never reach your destination, Craig.”

He scolded him. Craig pouted.

Ashley: “Oh, I’m not a dog! I’m a cat!”

They chirped and laughed, gesturing to the tufts on their head that resembled cat ears. Andreas turned to Ashley, cross-examining them with curiosity.

Andreas: “What made you think we were Sex Beest?”

He pressed them, picking up his black Ibanez guitar.

Ashley: “Well, Maxx told me his bandmates lived here.”

They explained. Makayla gaped at them.

Craig: “WHAT?!”

He fumed. Andreas drew a breath and rolled his eyes.

Ashley: “I'm sorry, I don't know what happened between you guys, but I'm here to help him make amends!”

They sighed and smiled hopefully.

Craig: “Wait, that clown drongo is here?!”

He laughed bitterly. Andreas gave Makayla a look.

Makayla: “I told you he'd come back.”

She smirked. Ashley tilted their head in confusion.

Ashley: “Oh, he's not a clown! He's a rockstar!”

They gently corrected him. Craig gaped at them and threw his head back with a mighty cackle. Makayla laughed, and Andreas shook his head.

Craig: “Pfft, like fuck he ain't!”

He scoffed and grabbed the microphone.

Craig: “This is MY thrash bash and I’M the fuckin’ rockstar! LET’S GET THIS SHOW STARTED!”

He grinned and roared into the microphone, pumping up the crowd.

A tall, muscular man with a tan complexion and dreadlocks sat behind the drum kit and hit the cymbals and blast beats. Andreas shredded on his guitar, and Makayla followed with her bass line. Craig stomped around at the centre of the stage, rasping the vocals and pumping up the crowd.

Craig: “Moonlight on the water’s surface. Let go of what no longer serves us!”

He belted out his vocals.

Craig: “Set sour to glower, break out from your tower!”

Ashley stood there, wide-jawed and wide-eyed.

Ashley: “Wait, is he singing about tarot stuff? I never would have pegged him for being into that and so articulate with words!”

They remarked as they were pounded by heavy distortion swirling around them.

Ashley: “If they’re not Maxx’s band? Who is? Does he even have a band?”

They pondered, stroking their chin.

Ashley: “Where the heck IS Maxx?! I have SO many questions!”

They pouted, scanning the crowd for him. They felt someone’s eyes on them and turned to see Makayla locking her gaze on them with a smile. Ashley blushed and smiled back at her. Suddenly, they felt Makayla’s bass lines vibrating under their feet and rippling up to their stomach. They clutched their growling stomach as they felt a sharp pang of hunger.

Ashley: “God, I'm hungry!”

They looked around the party, scanning for something to eat.

Ashley: “Where's all the food?! What kind of party doesn't have food?!”

They gasped and stamped their feet.

~

Ashley rushed back into the house, barging into the kitchen. People were standing around the kitchen, drinking beer, and a couple was making out against the fridge.

Ashley: “Mi scusi, pardon me! I gotta get through here!”

They chirped and gently shoved past them. The couple didn’t take their lips off each other and rolled out of the way.

Ashley: “Thank you!”

They opened the fridge door, scanning its contents. Ashley pulled a face at the chaotic mess inside. There was a half-eaten hamburger, a jar of pickles, a carton of milk, too many potatoes, four tubs of half-finished butter, and a carton of eggs. Ashley grabbed the milk, butter, and eggs with a laugh.

Ashley opened up the pantry and pulled out the flour and a block of chocolate.

Ashley: “This will do!”

They nodded, tying their hair back and pulling off their faux fur coat. A little green bag fell out of the pocket and onto the floor.

Ashley: “Huh…”

They picked up the bag and smiled, shifting their eyes to the butter.

~

The band continued their set, and the crowd began to dissolve back into the house. Andreas quirked an eyebrow.

Craig: “The fuck is goin’ on?!”

He twisted his mouth. Makayla sniffed the sweet aroma of freshly baked goods in the air.

Makayla: “Ooh, do I smell cookies?!”

She smirked, putting her bass down in the middle of the song and rushing inside.

Andreas: “Where are you going, Makayla? We’re halfway through our set!”

He pressed her.

Craig: “Cookies?! Who the fuck is makin’ cookies?!”

He gaped as if someone threw up on the rug. Andreas sighed and shook his head.

Andreas: “Does it matter?”

Makayla sauntered into the kitchen. Her eyes lit up when she saw Ashley pulling trays of cookies out of the oven. The sweet aroma of fresh cookies filled the house, drawing a hungry crowd to the kitchen.

Makayla: “Oh my, that’s a lot of cookies, Ashley!”

She smiled at them.

Ashley: “Haha, yeah, I made some for the whole party!”

They replied, spreading their arms out.

Makayla: “Aww, you didn’t have to do that! You have them! They’re yours!”

She picked up a cookie, sliding it into their mouth. Ashley tilted their head with an awkward laugh, taking the cookie out of their mouth.

Ashley: “Haha, there’s no way I can eat ALL those cookies!”

They laughed.

Ashley: “Besides, they’re special herbal cookies… if you know what I mean.”

They added with a wink. Makayla beamed widely.

Craig barged into the kitchen, cutting through the crowd.

Craig: “OI! Who the fuck is makin’ cookies?”

He grumbled.

Ashley: “Oh, I made some for the whole party! Enjoy!”

They beamed. Craig gaped at them.

Craig: “Mate, this ain’t a little kiddie birthday party! This is a THRASH METAL party! Cookies ain’t metal! ‘N they ain’t manly!”

He laughed at them. Ashley tilted their head, with a look of confusion plastered across their face.

Ashley: “Uhh, no, they’re made of flour, eggs–”

They explained. Craig twisted his mouth and interjected.

Craig: “I know, ya cheeky lil shit! Don’t ya know what thrash metal is?!”

He scoffed and laughed at them. Ashley tilted their head again.

Ashley: “...What’s a thrash metal?”

They pressed him, innocently nibbling on their cookie. Laughter erupted around them. Craig’s jaw hit the floor, and he gaped at them like they had three heads.

Craig: “WHAT?! The fuck do you mean?! How do you not know what THRASH METAL is?!”

He shrieked with outrage. Andreas shoved past Craig, grabbing a cookie and eating it. Craig turned to Andreas.

Craig: “No, Andreas!”

He pouted and pleaded with him.

Andreas: “I’ll do what I want, Craig. Sorry, you’re threatened by a cookie.”

He said with a hint of bitterness and exasperation in his tone. Craig pouted.

Craig: “Are you mad at me?”

He whimpered like a puppy dog, draping his arm around him. Ashley observed as Craig’s demeanour swung like a pendulum from a roaring lion to a cowering puppy dog.

Andreas: “You’re being an asshole, Craig.”

He scolded him and then turned to Ashley.

Andreas: “I’m sorry about him and sorry we got off on the wrong foot. Thanks for making us food, Ashley.”

He offered to Ashley. Ashley’s eyebrows rose surprisingly with a smile.

Craig: “Wha? You’re apologisin’ to him? He insulted us!”

He gaped at Ashley. Andreas turned back to Craig.

Andreas: “They only had Maxx’s side of the story, and you know what he’s like.”

He said firmly. Craig dropped his shoulders and pursed his lips.

Makayla: “Maxx is bad news, Ashley.”

She shook her head. Ashley tilted their head.

Ashley: “...What do you mean? What happened between you guys?”

They pressed them, taking a bite of their cookie. Makayla watched them intently.

Craig: “He’s a lyin’ cunt! We ain’t HIS band! This is MY band, ‘n we ain’t a lame glam band! I’m gonna kick his clown ass for that!”

He protested. Andreas twisted his mouth.

Andreas: “Our band, Craig.”

He sighed with a twinge of hurt in his tone.

Craig: “That’s right! We’re gonna kick his clown ass together!”

He exclaimed. Andreas sighed and turned to Ashley.

Andreas: “Maxx bailed on his rent and we got sick of his shit, so we kicked him out.”

He explained matter-of-factly.

Ashley: “W-what?”

They cupped their mouth.

Ashley: “What about the important object he said you stole from him?”

They pressed them.

Andreas: “...That eyesore in the living room?”

He groaned and twisted his mouth.

Ashley: “The cardboard cut-out picture of him?”

They tilted their head. Makayla cackled.

Makayla: “He blew his rent on that stupid thing, so I bound him to it until he pays his rent back to us!”

Ashley quirked an eyebrow at her.

Ashley: “...Binding?”

They gasped.

Craig emerged from the living room, panting.

Craig: “IT’S FUCKIN’ GONE! THE CLOWN CUTOUT IS GONE!”

He rasped. Makayla's face twisted.

Makayla: “NO! Our leverage!”

She threw her arms up in the air.

Andreas: “I told you this would happen. What did you guys expect?”

He shook his head. Ashley bowed their head.

Ashley: “I’m sorry… I brought him here, so I’ll find him.”

They offered.

Makayla turned to them and smiled.

Makayla: “Aww, you’re so sweet. I’ll join you, Ashley.”

She placed her hand on their shoulder.

Ashley: “S-Sure.”

They smiled and ran their fingers through their hair.

~

Makayla followed Ashley out into the street, feeling the cool night air on their face.

Ashley: “Where would he go if he has nowhere to go?”

They pondered, scanning the dark, empty street.

Makayla: “Hmm, I think I have an idea…”

She smirked at the neon red sign in the distance, over the main road.

Ashley: “Oh? What’s that?”

They chirped.

Makayla: “The best place in the world.”

She smiled at them, leading them towards it.

As they reached the main road and drew closer to the sign, they could see it read ‘Voyage Burger’ in a runic font with white horns perched at the top. The restaurant was shaped like a giant Viking ship with round windows and a mossy moat wrapping around the establishment. The ship's bows were shaped like hamburgers and a faded red and white striped sail flowed at the mast.

Ashley: “Voyage Burger?”

They tilted their head. Makayla smiled at them.

Makayla: “...You’ve never been to Voyage Burger?”

She gaped at them. Ashley shook their head.

Ashley: “No. I make my own food, and my brother says fast food makes you fat.”

They laughed awkwardly.

Makayla: “What’s wrong with that?”

She laughed bitterly.

Ashley: “Well, I’m already fat, and so are you, haha.”

They laughed, glancing down at their chubby stomachs. Makayla gaped at them, taken aback by their response.

Makayla: “There’s nothing wrong with that. You’re handsome the way you are.”

She smiled at Ashley, poking their tummy. Ashley reddened and trembled when she touched them there.

Ashley: “O-oh, thank you! So are you!”

They stammered. Makayla smiled at them.

Makayla: "I think you mean beautiful!"

She chuckled.

Makayla chuckled and gazed up at the full moon, beaming down on them. She inched closer to Ashley, locking her gaze on them.

Makayla: “Blessed to be the way that you are. Blessed to your appetite and blessed to me tonight…”

She sang in a voice as sweet as pie as she stroked their tummy. Ashley felt a shivering vibration pulse through their body as they were lulled into a trance, fixing their eyes on her.

Ashley: “W-woah! You’re a really good singer! You should sing in the band, too!”

They chirped. Makayla chuckled and smiled at them.

Makayla: “Don't those burgers smell good?”

She cooed at them. Ashley flicked their gaze to the Viking diner with ravenous hunger.

Ashley: “I could go for a burger…”

Their voice trailed off in a hungry daze.

Makayla: “So could I.”

She beamed, leading them over the bridge to the big red wooden door at the entrance. A six-foot-tall statue of a muscular man in a loincloth with a hamburger head and horns stood at the doorway. Suddenly, it jerked its axe and rotated its hamburger head to them, startling Ashley to jolt. Makayla placed her hand on Ashley’s shoulder to comfort them.

Makayla: “It’s okay, sweetheart, it’s just the Burger Berserker!”

She assured them gently.

Burger Berserker: “RAAAGH! I am the Burger Berserker! Welcome to Voyage Burger! A feast to ravage! Eat like a savage!”

A muffled voice rasped through the speaker. Ashley laughed awkwardly.

Makayla: “We will.”

She replied to the animatronic, pulling the big red door open.

~

Ashley and Makayla entered the establishment. The restaurant was dimly lit by red lights running across the ceiling. Plastic swords, axes, and shields were mounted across all the walls. The seating was cosy with wooden red booths and shield-shaped round tables between them. Makayla led them to the booth by the restrooms. The men’s room was labelled: “Vikings” with an illustration of the Burger Berserker holding up an axe, and the women’s room was labelled: “Viqueens” with an illustration of the Burger Berserker in a dress, holding a shield. Ashley looked around for Maxx, but there was no neon in sight.

Ashley: “I don’t see him here.”

They mused.

Makayla: “He’s probably in the restroom or something.”

She waved her hand and gently shoved them into the booth with her ass and slid in beside them.

Ashley: “H-hey! Hahaha!”

They gasped, and their heart hammered in their chest when they felt her body sitting against theirs.

A waitress with orange braids and jade eyeshadow skipped over to their table. She was dressed in a vermilion red dress with a chunky brown belt around her petite waist. She wore brown sandals on her feet with fur-trimmed leg warmers.

Waitress: "Yargh! Welcome aboard to Voyage Burger, get ready to set sail for the feast of Vikings and Viqueens! I am Yvette, and I will be serving you tonight!”

Her almond-shaped brown eyes sparkled. Ashley perked up, as if her enthusiasm was contagious.

Makayla: “I’ll just get the usual.”

She nodded to Yvette. Yvette gave Makayla a look and nodded.

Ashley: “What’s that?”

They pressed her.

Makayla: “Why? Do you want it, too?”

She poked their tummy and they fell into a daze.

Ashley: “Yes, please!”

Their voice trailed off as their mind raced with thoughts of food. Yvette gave Ashley a look and skipped away to get their order.

Ashley: “I think I put too much catnip for humans in those cookies! I’ve never been this hungry before, haha!”

They chuckled. Makayla quirked an eyebrow.

Makayla: “Catnip for humans?”

She laughed and smiled at them.

Ashley: “Yeah! I grew it in my garden!”

They nodded in confirmation. Makayla’s eyebrows rose.

Makayla: “Really now?”

Ashley: “Yeah! I grow all kinds of herbs and veggies!”

They explained.

Makayla: “That’s so cute!”

She cooed at them. Ashley blushed and smiled.

Makayla: “I knew someone like you who grew ‘catnip for humans’.”

Her voice trailed off. Ashley’s eyebrows rose surprisingly.

Ashley: “R-really?!”

Yvette skipped back over to the table, carrying trays of food. Ashley was amazed at how such a tiny person could carry so many plates. She filled the entire table with salty, battered delicacies, hamburgers, and dairy treats.

Ashley: “W-wow! What’s all that?!”

They exclaimed.

Makayla: “Odin Rings, Freyja fries, Ragnarok burgers, Valhalnilla shakes, Chockorok pies, Little Berserker meals, Feathered and battered burgers, and bruised and battered pancakes!”

She explained, biting down into the feathered and battered burger, which was a piece of fried chicken with garlic aioli, Swiss cheese, mushrooms, and lettuce. Ashley followed suit, like a mirror reflection, biting into the same burger as her.

Makayla: “Mmm, so good!”

She purred, sipping on the Valhalnilla shake and locking her gaze on them. Ashley picked up their Valhalnilla shake, drinking from it, too, and returning her gaze.

Ashley: “So good.”

They purred. Makayla smirked at Ashley and dug into her ‘battered and bruised’ pancakes, which were blueberry pancakes with butter and maple syrup dripping from them. Makayla stroked her finger through the maple syrup and sucked on it. Ashley mimicked her with the same gesture, which sent shivers down her body.

Makayla bit her lip and took a huge bite out of the Ragnarok burger, which was an Angus beef patty wedged between cheddar cheese, aioli, onion, tomato, and lettuce. Ashley followed suit and suddenly froze and recoiled with disgust when they bit down on something unpleasant.

Ashley: “Non mi piace, pomodoro!”

They groused, spitting out the tomato and snapping out of their daze. Makayla gaped at them.

Makayla: “W-what’s wrong, Ashley?”

She knit her eyebrows.

Ashley: “Sorry, I don’t like tomatoes, haha.”

They laughed awkwardly, putting down their burger. Ashley’s eyes widened when they suddenly felt the heaviness in their stomach and noticed the empty plates on the table.

Ashley: “O-oh, wow! Did we eat all that?! Where did the time go?”

They gasped, clutching their stomach. Makayla smiled at them, fixing her gaze on them.

Makayla: “You’re so cute!”

She cooed at them.

Ashley: “Haha, thank you.”

They reddened and laughed, scratching their head.

Makayla: “Let’s go back to my place.”

She purred at them, taking their hand and pulling them out of the booth with her. Ashley reddened and flashed her a smile.

Ashley: “What about Maxx?”

They pressed her.

Makayla: “It’s not your fault, Ashley. We will find him. Don’t worry.”

She assured them. Ashley smiled a bit.

~

The street glowed with red and blue lights as a police car pulled up in front of the Nuklear Intoxikation house.

Ashley: “W-what’s going on here? Did something happen to Maxx?”

They gasped and cupped their mouth. The police officers approached Craig and Andreas on the doorstep.

Cop: “Who is the owner of this address?”

Craig furrowed his eyebrows and went to speak, when Andreas stepped in.

Andreas: “Let me handle it, Craig.”

He held his hand up and turned to the police officer. Craig pouted and folded his arms.

Andreas: “That would be us. What seems to be the problem?”

He asked politely.

Cop: “Look, our phones have been ringing all night with complaints. If you shut this down right now, we’ll let you off with a warning.”

He said firmly, with a twinge of irritation in his voice. Craig’s jaw dropped.

Craig: “W-wha?! Come on, mate! Who’s been bitchin'?”

He snapped. Andreas twisted his mouth with a knowing look.

Makayla: “Ugh. That stinky-foot witch.”

She groused and glared at the Victorian cottage across the road. The spiked iron gate swung open as a woman emerged from the property.

Ashley: “Stinky-foot witch?!”

Their eyebrows rose with intrigue, and they observed the woman. She was tall and slim with crimson red hair styled in an a-line bob cut, and she was dressed in a white silk gown with a feather boa around her neck. She dabbed her cheeks with a lace handkerchief.

Woman: "T-They're terrorizing me with that dreadful noise they call music, officer! They’re ruining my beauty sleep!"

She sulked and spoke with a Soviet accent in a deep, husky voice.

Ashley: “Is the lady dressed as a goose, the stinky-foot witch?”

They asked Makayla. Makayla stumbled over a laugh, and Craig burst out laughing. Andreas chuckled. The woman turned on her sharp white heel, boring her ice-cold grey eyes onto them.

Woman: “How very dare you! Don’t you know who I am?”

She spat. Her demeanor shifted as if she were changing hats.

Ashley: “You’re the stinky-foot witch, right?”

They smiled at her. Craig and Makayla wheezed with laughter. Andreas sighed and cupped his ears. Here we go again, he thought.

Woman: “STINKY FEET?! My feet DO NOT STINK!”

She shrieked. Ashley recoiled at her loud, piercing screech.

Jaclyn: “I am Jaclyn Kovalenko, the fabulous fashionista! Do NOT believe their LIES!”

She pointed her skinny, manicured red fingernail at the band.

Jaclyn: “And do NOT trust HER!”

She glared at Makayla. Ashley tilted their head and turned to Makayla who stood there smirking.

Makayla: “I wouldn’t trust a LIAR!”

She countered, tearing off Jaclyn’s heel. The overpowering stench of roadkill permeated the air around them. Ashley recoiled with disgust.

Ashley: “Argh! Noo! She lied! She really is the stinky-foot witch!”

They groused and gagged. Craig fanned his face.

Craig: “Holy shit, that reeks!”

He gagged and laughed. Andreas buried his head into his hands with a groan. Jaclyn glared at them all, snatching her heel off Makayla.

Jaclyn: “LIES! She cursed you ALL to think that!”

She spat, putting her heel back on.

Craig: “Checkmate, Stinker-foot!”

He cackled. Jaclyn turned to them with a smirk.

Jaclyn: “Checkmate? Your party is dead and your clown is missing, is he not?”

She chuckled darkly and left, flipping her hair.

Ashley’s eyes widened.

Ashley: “How did she know that?”

Makayla glared in Jaclyn’s direction.

Makayla: “I don’t know, Ashley, but we’re going to find out!”

She placed her hand on their shoulder. Ashley smiled back at her.